Updated: Apr 17
Transformation begins in darkness. A seed has to be buried, break open, and change in order to grow. It must experience darkness before it can handle the light.
When you shine a light on your life, it does not always illuminate happy things, but it does help you to have perspective. Light is impersonal, it shines on everything that is not in the shade. To see yourself clearly, you must be able to look at the self objectively. When you try to hide from any part of yourself, you have a shadow side, and when you don’t own it, it owns you.
What is Shadow Work?
Shadow work is basically looking deep within to identify the aspects of yourself that you have supressed into the subconscious mind. The ego creates a “shadow self” because it doesn’t want to admit to the negative aspects of itself.
In this journey I have found wonderful peace and joy, but I have also had to own my fear, jealousy, resentment, and rage. A lot of that is uncomfortable for me, but if I don’t own it, I am not living with integrity.
My journey toward Magic began with asking myself questions about my purpose. I was feeling a longing for more, as if there was something missing in my life that I couldn’t quite articulate. I was having a Spiritual Awakening, though I didn’t know it at the time. It turns out that the things I was “missing” were never gone; I was just tuning them out. I was afraid of the shadows, so I didn’t want to turn on the light. I had disconnected from my feelings to avoid pain, but I was also disconnected from pleasurable feelings.
The truth is, no matter how much I may want to disconnect, and lie to myself, my higher self knows the truth, and will try to find a way to express it. If I look at my life objectively, without fear and emotional attachment, it’s like shining a light on a shadow. I can clearly see where I need to change. The problem is, if fear is in charge, the mind comes in and rationalises why I can’t do what I need to do, or why it won’t work.
I recently had an outburst of anger directed toward my kids. Afterward, I knew in my heart that the right thing to do was to apologize, but my pride really didn’t want to do it, so my mind came up with reasons to justify my actions. I spent the rest of the day ruminating, feeling angry and unbalanced. When I finally saw my actions and feelings from an objective place of illumination, I was able to let go, apologize, and move back into a better vibe.
I am working on staying aligned with my higher self, one day at a time, one decision at a time, with integrity. I can no longer get away with lying to myself.
I still catch myself starting to ruminate on resentment sometimes, but I quickly notice it and stop, imagining I am letting go of the cord. When I let myself ruminate on a resentful thought, I am plugging into an energetic drain, and holding onto it. I need to let go. I know that the more often I stop this negative pattern in its tracks, the less power it will have over me.
Letting go feels amazing.
Live your Magical Life 😊
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